Happiness is a choice.
But I didn't always feel this way.
When one is trapped in sadness, misery,unhappiness, its easy to create more of the same. We create more of what we have. I got stuck on the couch for many months this fall.... like almost all of them. Getting out of this loop is sometimes really hard. When we let it go to the extreme, this is what crashes our lives for us. I only got off the couch because I started to realize I was heading towards losing my job.
It really doesn't need to get this bad for you to choose happiness. To choose to experience a different reality. I am sure for many of you it never gets this bad for you. But it sometimes gets this bad for me. I refuse to accept the diagnosis of Bi-polar that a Psychologist once gave me, but I do understand fully I got some wild mood swings that can devastate my life.
We all have fears and we all have emotions that are considered negative. Life shit comes up and we need to deal with it, not push it under the carpet.... So I am learning. I am not saying choose happiness and avoid your responsibilities or your lessons on your path. I am saying that even in happiness there are tough times, but walking through them will elevate us to even greater heights of happiness. I was sitting in my pity party letting my fears destroy me.
I just had to take the first step towards happiness. It's like a bird riding the wind currents, timing is everything to carry you higher. But, sometimes you just cant see the down drift coming, and if you let it, that little drop is so thrilling to your belly that it doesn't matter that you dropped down a bit. So being high and happy has its dips too, its not like you will get frozen in happy (Like honest to Goddess I feared) Does that make sense?
But I didn't always feel this way.
When one is trapped in sadness, misery,unhappiness, its easy to create more of the same. We create more of what we have. I got stuck on the couch for many months this fall.... like almost all of them. Getting out of this loop is sometimes really hard. When we let it go to the extreme, this is what crashes our lives for us. I only got off the couch because I started to realize I was heading towards losing my job.
It really doesn't need to get this bad for you to choose happiness. To choose to experience a different reality. I am sure for many of you it never gets this bad for you. But it sometimes gets this bad for me. I refuse to accept the diagnosis of Bi-polar that a Psychologist once gave me, but I do understand fully I got some wild mood swings that can devastate my life.
We all have fears and we all have emotions that are considered negative. Life shit comes up and we need to deal with it, not push it under the carpet.... So I am learning. I am not saying choose happiness and avoid your responsibilities or your lessons on your path. I am saying that even in happiness there are tough times, but walking through them will elevate us to even greater heights of happiness. I was sitting in my pity party letting my fears destroy me.
I just had to take the first step towards happiness. It's like a bird riding the wind currents, timing is everything to carry you higher. But, sometimes you just cant see the down drift coming, and if you let it, that little drop is so thrilling to your belly that it doesn't matter that you dropped down a bit. So being high and happy has its dips too, its not like you will get frozen in happy (Like honest to Goddess I feared) Does that make sense?
When I am not choosing happiness, I am getting lost in judgments and resentments. I am both giving off those vibes and therefor receiving them. I judge so harshly. Its amazing to me how I still have the friends I have. My resentments start to eat me up inside and then everything sours within me.
It's so not the way I want to live today. Bitter and resentful? Full of Self Pity and Anger?
But I did want to live that way for a long time. Hidden under the surface of being busy. I was angry and I really didn't know how to express it other then in judgement. I look back now and can see the benefit sitting in my shit played for me, but I am very much done with that mud game now.
I don't want to be judged, so there for I cannot judge others if I expect happiness. I choose on a daily basis happiness. Sometimes I have to choose on a thought to though basis. And after awhile the drifts carry me up to where I reside in happiness completely and can actually invite others to come sky dance with me.
Once I let go of the Judgements, I could see my anger for what it was and accept it at face value and with respect.
I was angry for a very long time at the people that didn't get what it was like to have to live my life. I was angry that many people in my world put me into those situations that caused me to have to work harder to function in a normal range. ...........Until I began to realize that all people struggle with something. whether its mental illness or severe chronic pain. We all have something to work through at some point. That didn't kill my desire to be bitchy but it at least gave me some comfort knowing thier pain was worse then mine, or mine was worse and I was functioning better. It was still judgement but it was a shift and enough of a step towards happiness.
My compassion is large today. Expanding for those that don't get sucked into the abyss by their self pity and rise up to meet the challenge to choose happiness. Its not an easy initial choice to make. One has to work hard at switching tracks in life. But like the bird soaring into the clouds it can happen in mere minutes after that leap is made.
I always tell my best friend, You take one step and the universe takes two. Energy is always moving. It's our choice how we obtain it and our discipline on how we direct it. I draw my energy off of empowering situations and substances for my body and mind. And directing it........... I am so bloody happy that today I am choosing to slide down the slopes of love to take flight into Happiness.
Yes, it's a good choice, that happiness.
Yes, it's a good choice, that happiness.