Google Dictionary tells me that a Sociopath is a Person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior: and a lack of conscience.
I have been thinking about this a bit since the first appointment I had with my therapist over a year ago. One of the first things she taught me was the difference between a Sociopath and a psychopath. In her experience of the two and my understanding of her teaching; is that part of a socio/psychopath attributes is the inability to feel. A sociopath shuts down the feelings themselves but the psychopath was born without the ability to feel empathy at all.
So why has this stuck in my tooth like the skin of a popcorn carnal.....
I have worried a fair amount about my ability to feel anything about my trauma's (and sometimes in my everyday life). I can tell my story with a straight face. Yet when I tell others my story, they are tearing up. I can have somewhat of empathy for other peoples personal horror stories, but I am not torn up for them; I went through it too.
My Therapist response to my concern, is that some people are like a sponge full of water and when poked, emotions gush everywhere.
I have been thinking about this a bit since the first appointment I had with my therapist over a year ago. One of the first things she taught me was the difference between a Sociopath and a psychopath. In her experience of the two and my understanding of her teaching; is that part of a socio/psychopath attributes is the inability to feel. A sociopath shuts down the feelings themselves but the psychopath was born without the ability to feel empathy at all.
So why has this stuck in my tooth like the skin of a popcorn carnal.....
I have worried a fair amount about my ability to feel anything about my trauma's (and sometimes in my everyday life). I can tell my story with a straight face. Yet when I tell others my story, they are tearing up. I can have somewhat of empathy for other peoples personal horror stories, but I am not torn up for them; I went through it too.
My Therapist response to my concern, is that some people are like a sponge full of water and when poked, emotions gush everywhere.
So why is that? We all handle stress differently?
Some people fight to release their trauma's. This is what I am learning from Irene Lyon. http://irenelyon.com/ The last guy I semi dated was like this, fight or flight response, he wanted to fight anything and everything all the time...... with words, actions, emotions, anything. Irene explains how we can get stuck in these responses. During a therapy session I was shown this graph of manic and depressive emotions and how we can get stuck too high or low if we cross the acceptable level.
I think I am stuck Frozen.
Well just thawing out now, because hot damn I can get pretty angry when I think of my past. Anger is, I think the first stage of processing a trauma. During the fight or flight response to danger I couldn't do either, ever. So I built up a freeze response. My Shamanic teacher explained this too me as dissociation; to go somewhere else mentally while the abuse is happening.
Is this not a very close kin to creating Sociopath tendencies. Dissociation is a disconnection to consciousness. I had to shut down my body connection and my feeling connections because they were betraying me and threatening to overwhelm my physical existence. I had to assume No conscience. As I got older and stuck on the frozen setting, I lost all connection to the collective conscience and there for my self entirely.
Some people fight to release their trauma's. This is what I am learning from Irene Lyon. http://irenelyon.com/ The last guy I semi dated was like this, fight or flight response, he wanted to fight anything and everything all the time...... with words, actions, emotions, anything. Irene explains how we can get stuck in these responses. During a therapy session I was shown this graph of manic and depressive emotions and how we can get stuck too high or low if we cross the acceptable level.
I think I am stuck Frozen.
Well just thawing out now, because hot damn I can get pretty angry when I think of my past. Anger is, I think the first stage of processing a trauma. During the fight or flight response to danger I couldn't do either, ever. So I built up a freeze response. My Shamanic teacher explained this too me as dissociation; to go somewhere else mentally while the abuse is happening.
Is this not a very close kin to creating Sociopath tendencies. Dissociation is a disconnection to consciousness. I had to shut down my body connection and my feeling connections because they were betraying me and threatening to overwhelm my physical existence. I had to assume No conscience. As I got older and stuck on the frozen setting, I lost all connection to the collective conscience and there for my self entirely.
I am glad I am in a place where being around people is an option for me. I can spend copious amounts of time with myself to try to reconnect to my feelings without people to insult my senses. I posted yesterday how highly sensitive I am right now. I am feeling things on a level for me that is crazy new, however for a person with an overflowing sponge like heart, what I am going through might be their every day norm.
To a sociopath that can completely shut out the world they have the ability to become brilliant. Because they live in their heads. Hence Sherlock. (Goddess do I love the research that has went into the making of that character.) However whats if a sociopath could turn their feelings back on. I don't think they can...... that's what my therapist was warning me of. But if they could you would have a high mentally emotionally intelligent being.
I think having a conscious connection to your mind, your emotions, your body and your environment would be...... I am searching for the concept to describe what that would be like. Because for me the connection is out of the scope of my experience and imaginings. We are not the same, people are all very unique with but one uniting factor.... collective consciousness, The God within.
To a sociopath that can completely shut out the world they have the ability to become brilliant. Because they live in their heads. Hence Sherlock. (Goddess do I love the research that has went into the making of that character.) However whats if a sociopath could turn their feelings back on. I don't think they can...... that's what my therapist was warning me of. But if they could you would have a high mentally emotionally intelligent being.
I think having a conscious connection to your mind, your emotions, your body and your environment would be...... I am searching for the concept to describe what that would be like. Because for me the connection is out of the scope of my experience and imaginings. We are not the same, people are all very unique with but one uniting factor.... collective consciousness, The God within.
It would be like entering the Matrix.
Lucid dreaming your entire existence.
Lucid dreaming your entire existence.